The Bill Simmons Experience

The following will be of little or no interest if your eyes blur over and your hearing shuts down when the NBA or the NBA draft are the subjects of discourse. Plus furthering the insignificance, even for WAC hoops addicts, our conference received zero mention this year during the interminably long player grab Thursday night but that should change at least somewhat in the 2010 draft.

We typically avoid the ESPN site because it produces an instantaneous overload disorder in us what with its display of a multitude of gizmos and flashing items so a confession to not being familiar with Bill Simmons work is in order.

Also, Simmons can't resist going juvenile early on and again later in his article so consider yourself forewarned -- Bill, was that really necessary to share?

We're running a contest and the winner will receive the opportunity to interview with Bill Simmons minus a tape recorder while the runnerup gets two interviews sans recording devices. Okay, here we go: does Bill Simmons suffer from ADD or does he have a particularly nasty meth addiction? Who will be the respondent with the first correct answer... Actually, we enjoyed his massive take on the draft, at least most of it.

Welcome to NBA Draft Diary XIII
Bill Simmons
ESPN
June 26, 2009

The Virgin Megastore on Hollywood Boulevard had a "Going Out Of Business!" sale this month. For the first few days, everything in the store was 30 percent off. The discount jumped to 40 percent and, finally, 80 percent. I voyaged down down there one day too late, well after every desirable DVD and Blu-Ray disc had been snagged. One wall of DVDs featured only "Don't Mess with the Zohan" and "Meet Dave," to give you a sense of what was left.

I spent 20 minutes sifting through the Blu-Ray remains. It wasn't pretty. I talked myself into "Terminator 3," "The Shining" and "Superman Returns," then carried them for a few more minutes before realizing, "Wait a second, what am I doing?" I put the Blu-Rays back and walked out of the store.

Here's the point: The 2009 NBA draft is the equivalent of that 10 minutes when I nearly talked myself into three Blu-Rays I didn't even want. I have seen "The Shining" 10 million katrillion times. I don't need to own it on Blu-Ray. But when it's sitting on the same shelf with "Along Came Polly" and "Ocean's 12"? It starts looking good by default. That's the problem with this year's draft class -- too many "Terminator 3" Blu-Rays, only everyone else is so bad, you start talking yourself into them.

Maybe Tyreke Evans really is a point guard! Maybe DeMar DeRozan can put it together! Maybe Tyler Hansbrough isn't too slow! Maybe Jrue Holiday's college stats aren't a red flag!

Trust me: It's the worst draft class since the infamous Kenyon Martin Draft in 2000. If I had to bet my life on any 2009 prospect becoming a top-three player on a championship team, I'd bet on Blake Griffin, Ricky Rubio and Stephen Curry. That's it. You'd remember this draft as Suckapalooza 2009 someday if it hadn't happened on the same day we lost Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. Only the Clippers could have the No. 1 pick on a day like this, right?

Without further ado, Draft Diary XIII …

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